While trying to avoid going to sleep this evening, Lilly asked me how many time-outs I had when I was a little girl. She hadn't been in trouble, or even in a time-out all day so I just thought it was a way to get out of going to bed. I told her that when I was a little girl, mommies and daddies usually gave spankings and not time-outs. After thirty more questions about spankings and how very old I was, I started thinking. Did I really get spankings? I am positive that I didn't get time-outs, but what did my parents do?
Although I like to express to anyone that will listen that I was a near perfect child that never did any wrong, the truth is I am sure I didn't behave at all times. In the past, a call to the parental units would be in order. It being 2009, I texted my dad. Turns out, I got a few swats, but mostly "deprivation." They took away priviledges and things that mattered to me. I don't remember this, but I find it interesting that this is exactly the way Jeff and I parent Lilly. It works about 90% of the time. The other 10% usually involves stomping of the feet and wailing of the arms. (By Lilly, not by me.)
"Discipline is different from punishment. Discipline is when a child has a choice." - Jerry Autry, aka Daddy, aka Opa.
Turns out this is actually a parenting theory derived from William Glasser. Who knew? My mom and dad, obviously, but not me. There are things that I remember specifically from my "rearing" that I will never repeat with my children. However, these are few and far between and I am really in awe of the circle. What my parents did with me, I do with mine. And so far, it seems to be working.