Thursday, September 29, 2011

No blogging today but there is a contest link for you...

A tad bit overwhelmed with life these days. I can "hear" you rolling your eyes and saying what's new? Instead of writing about woes, renovation and doing laundry in a laundromat at the age of 40, I am sharing with you a very important link to a contest today. 

Remember my new very good friend? My 3Day team leader and tent roomie, Sara? She is currently running a contest over on her blog, Periwinkle Papillion. It is for  Lee National Denim Day Campaign  and their continuing support for the fight against breast cancer. This cause is very near and dear to her heart, and to mine. Please take the time to check our her site, and her contest. 

You can also access the contest by clicking on the Lee's National Denim Day link to your right. See it? All the way up top to the right. Now go visit Sara's website, enter the contest and donate some money. That is all for now!

ps: You can now access the happymommy blog directly through my new domain My very own little place on the interwebs. For now, you can still find me here at this blogspot address. Soon enough though this address will be gone, but the blog will remain the same. I'll make sure to tell you before this spot is gone forever.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Kids say the darnedest things, and sometimes they aren't funny...

I have been struggling as of late with some body issues. I feel larger than ever, even though I weigh about what I weighed this time last year. Which means I am the heaviest I have been except when I was first pregnant with my kids. I tend to hover around the same number on the scale, and just like this time last year I weigh about five pounds more than my normal. For a short person, this is a lot. I am not happy. I feel big. I certainly don't feel pretty. 

My house is almost done (can I get a WOOT WOOT?). I am no longer driving across the bridge four times a day. I get to reconnect with old friends and establish a schedule. It also seems to be a blessing that even though the house is close to being finished, there are no mirrors hanging anywhere. They just lay on the floor. I can only see my bottom half, which allows me to disconnect my head from my body. I can't make a mental connection between the two and until this afternoon that was allowing me to pretend. 

Today, I picked up James in his classroom and after I tended to another boo-boo on his knee, I started to load both him and Lilly into our car. A little boy and his father were also finishing the day and getting into their car. This small, very cute boy started to talk to me. I played along, smiled and continued to get the kids settled. Then, the little boy said something to me that immediately brought tears to me eyes. "You are chubby" 

Um, what? Did I hear that right? I said nothing, but smiled and got into the car. I cried. Have I really let myself get so far gone? In my own vain way, I do care a bunch about how I look. I always have. For years, this was how I measured my worth. Unfortunately, this hasn't changed very much. Sad, but true.

Lilly was in the car as well, so I didn't let her know I was upset. I couldn't explain this. Why did it matter that much to me what a child, most likely a 3 year old child, said to me. Did this boy even know the power of his words? Of course not. Well at least not the part where saying it would hurt someone. Was it like the time where I rhymed every word under the sun with duck?

It is hard enough to deal with the ideal perfection that seems to permeate the area I live. I know no one is perfect, but realizing I don't even come close hurt today. It really hurt.

Children are funny. For the most part, they are too innocent to really mean harm with words. But a mirror is a mirror, even one from the mouths of babes.


Monday, September 12, 2011

My The3Day Walk for the Cure in pictures....

I have so much to write about my 3Day Experience this past weekend. Currently, I am laid up in bed with my left leg up resting both my knee and my ankle. My right foot, well my right foot looks like something out of a horror movie. I will spare you pictures. 

For now, I do not have the energy to share words, but I will share pictures of one of the many favorite moments of the3day Walk for the Cure!

Cheering Section #1, Day 3.
MAMA!!!!!!!!  JAMES!!!!!!!

Remember to breathe...
(and, I really need to get my color done. Or brush my hair. Better yet, wash it.)

Lilly made us a poster! The best poster ever!

High Five to the Maidens for Mammograms and Margaritas!

Don't cry mama!

From this cheering section on the last day, I did go on to walk a few more miles, then get "swept" to lunch so I could get my knee fixed. From there my team mates and I, along with thousands of others went on to complete 60 miles. I will write more about my wonderful team, the overall experience and what it all means to me soon. I promise!

I can not leave this post without a few words, not the full story yet, but simple words to describe my teammates on Maidens for Mammograms and Margaritas. I met three women who were simply wonderful, fit into my life like a glove and who will remain in my life until they kick me out of theirs. I spent 36 straight hours with the team captain, Periwinkle Papillon (or Sara as I like to call her). I can't imagine how we haven't been friends forever, and I look forward to a lifetime of laughs, hugs and friendship!

We were so very tired! Can't you tell?


PS:  I haven't updated my widget in the right column, at the top yet. I did complete the3Day but if you still want to donate to this amazing cause, please do so. As soon as they stop collecting donations in my name, sometime in October, I will put up a new one for general donations. Thanks!

Friday, September 2, 2011

Let's review shall we...

In the next five days, we must pack up eight months of apartment living in the city all while wrangling normal life, activities and the dreaded commuting. Then we must unpack ten years of life into our newly remodeled house. All of this would be wonderful and I would be a tad bit less stressed out if I weren't participating in the 3Day Walk for the Cure. I am so very proud of myself for being part of this huge event to help raise awareness and money for the Susan G. Koman foundation. 

To review: I will be walking (yes me...) 60 miles in 3 days and camping out (yes me...) on Treasure Island for two nights. I have to purchase 9 million dollars of equipment for the walk and the camping. This, I have not yet done. Tomorrow, I will spend the day with the kids at Target, Sports Basement and Big 5 trying to find a way to fit 3 days and two nights of walking/camping equipment in a bag that weighs no more than 35 lbs. Oh yeah, I need a bag too. As with everything dealing with this walk, I have left it all to the end.

I should have done my fundraising sooner. I needed to start training earlier. I could have scheduled better. But it is what it is. I am training. Today I walked 9.4 miles with a friend. Friends are stepping up and donating quickly. But I still need to raise more money. I am $774 short of my goal and I have seven days to get there. If you are reading this, and you haven't yet donated, please take the time to donate anything you can. If you can't, but you live in the SF area, come cheer on my team, and all the walkers! Before next Friday, I will post the cheering section locations throughout San Francisco, Oakland and Marin. 

My mood isn't the best, and even though I tried to put on my big girl panties and face the day, I am having a hard time. In so many ways, I am ashamed of this. Right this very second, a very dear person in my life is lying in the hospital recovering from major surgery. His family and friends are surrounding him with love and kisses as he struggles to recover and move onto the next step of his experience. He is a survivor and is fighting the battle of his life. I can see him flirting with the nurses.  I picture him getting grumpy because he can't get up and walk out the front door to get home and mess around on his laptop. I imagine the physical pain he is experiencing and the psychological struggle of everyone to be positive and upbeat. I cry that I can't be there to hold his hand and tell him how proud of him I am. Instead I am at home bemoaning everything I have to do. It is sad and I am off to look in the mirror and give myself a really long lecture.

Two weeks from tomorrow, I will be home. I will be settling into a schedule and a "normal" life. My children will be back in their neighborhood. Commutes will be a thing of the past. I can make plans for the afternoons and not worry about traffic.

Two weeks from tomorrow, the very dear person in my life will be figuring out the next steps he has to take to make sure he is around for everyone to love for a long time.

Perspective, it is time for me to have some.


PS: Today, someone congratulated me on my pregnancy. Someone I KNOW! It has been a banner day!