Goodbye Mr. Gubbles...

Lilly's fish, Mr. Gubbles, died this morning. I cried because of the fish. Lilly comforted me because I was so sad. But, it is just a fish.

I cried in Starbucks. I cried in Costco. I just cried while trying to find a place for the eight cans of refried beans and one hundred green tea bags. But it is just a fish.

When my uncle died last week, and I traveled to North Carolina to say goodbye, I cried. But I also laughed, smiled and hugged many. The time wasn't all sad. It was family and love and so much more. We said goodbye and we are moving on with our lives.

I cry because others have lost so much more than a fish by way of cancer, war and disease. I cry because I will never see any of my grandparents again. I cry because one day I will lose my mom and my dad. I cry because I will continue to have to say goodbye many more times as the years progress.

I cry because Lilly's fish died.

Goodbye Mr. Gubbles...

You were a good little fish!

happymommy

Conflicted...

UPDATE:  The quote below is not actually a quote from MLK, Jr.  It was a cut and paste job from others and once I figure out who exactly, I will update again.  My opinion:  The message is the same!

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

- unknown, partly Martin Luther King, Jr and others all pieced together...

This quote by [who knows really] has been all over twitter, facebook and the internet today regarding the death of Osama bin Laden.  I am so conflicted as how to feel.  What do I tell my children when they are old enough to understand?  Does this mean our troops are coming home and life will get back to the way it was pre-Osama?  I just don't know.  We celebrated the death of Hitler.  Should I celebrate the death of Osama?  Conflicted...

I look at photos of the fallen NYFD.  I listen to stories of families who lost mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, sisters and brothers on September 11, 2001.  I think of the men and women serving in Afghanistan and Iraq.  I think of the men and women who haven't made it home.   I honor these heroes and I wonder, why don't I know how to feel about the death of Osama?  Conflicted...

What do you think my readers?  I, for one, have no idea how to feel.  I certainly don't feel like celebrating, but I am also not crying for a loss.  Conflicted....

happymommy

Happy St. Patrick's Day....

I got the plague on Monday and am slowly recovering.  As many of my longtime readers, hi mom, know, I generally take to bed and whine for days.  This week, I only whined for one day, 24 straight hours.  I consider this a victory for all.

Today we celebrate all that is Irish.   However, 23 years ago my family lost a close friend so St. Patrick's Day always is a little bit sad.  I won't go into details, but every year we remember the loss and wonder what could have been.  We are sad, but life always goes on in tragedy, happiness and change.  So many people have suffered immeasurable loss lately all across the world.  Whether it be personal, or just seeing death and destruction from afar, it is painful.  

So today, while we celebrate our freckles, our heritage (made up or real) and new life, remember those who suffer.  Take heed of your own actions and always remember.

We are happy to announce the newest addition to the happymommy family in the form of a second cousin twice removed by  marriage, or something like that!

Welcome little CR to our crazy world!  We love you!

Happy St. Patrick's Day from the happymommy house!

Erin Go Bragh!

happymommy

Two funerals and no wedding...

I have attended two funerals in the last two weeks or so.  The death of a loved one or a friend is very sad, and even though we treat deaths as celebrations of life, it doesn't make it any easier.

Today, I said goodbye to a young man whom I got to know over the last year.  He was part of a committee I had the honor of serving on last year.  He was only 42.  There was standing room only at his service, and through the tears and laughs, it was clear that this young man was a special one.  He loved his family, his life, his church and his work.  He mentored young men at his alumnae and when times got tough for those young men, he would tutor them to help them stay in school.  It was obvious looking at the people surrounding me that he was loved.  A true inspiration.

Life is fleeting and treating today as your last one may not be practical or even do-able.  But what is possible,  is occassionaly looking around and saying, you know what, I may not be doing everything I need to be doing to make this my best life.  I am doing that today, are you?

happymommy

And because this is a sad, meant to be inspirational post, I am posting two pictures here that I hope make you smile.  (They are recycled, and you have seen them before, but they are awesome none the less!)

And life goes on...

I wasn't going to write about this past week until my cousin sent me a tweet asking me why.  Well, you know what, last week wasn't just about saying goodbye to my grandfather, it was about family.  It was about being there for the sadness and embracing each other through it all!

When I got the news about my papa dying, my first thought was relief.  He was finally hanging out with my grandma and maybe even enjoying a hot dog smothered in chili!  My second thought was I have to get to my mom.  She is a fully capable, wonderful woman, but I couldn't imagine her angst, sadness and uncertainty of the upcoming events.  I couldn't help, but I could be there.  For her.  That was my goal.

Along with my dad, my sister, my aunts, my uncles, my cousins and all the of the spouses we said goodbye to papa.  I won't go as far as to say it all went off without a hitch, but I will say this; for the most part, we are one AWESOME group of people!  We gathered around, sang songs, prayed and praised a wonderful man.  He deserved the accolades and the love and the many group hugs.  Papa will be missed, but he is happier now, in a great place and better off than he has been in years.

And on a side note, turns out if you put my dad, mom, sister and I in a car we are a traveling stand up comedy routine.  At one point, I think I was laughing so hard that my head was on the floorboard and my feet were kicking the door.  After my dad made his fifth "gee manedy" statement it was all I could do to control myself.  My poor mom was trying to mourn without giggling along the ol' southern highway.

After ALL of the saying goodbye with many many preachers and prayers and songs, my family did what we do best.  We celebrated a life and continued on... It's what papa would want.

My nieces said it best...

We all loved our papa but life goes on and the celebration of a long life and "going home" is what it is truly all about!

Please notice my late thirty something cousin in one of his brother's Boy Scout shirts.  We are so proud.

Fly Uncle Bob, fly.....

And finally we were home...

Life goes on, and we are all thankful it does.

happymommy

PS:  If I had a million dollars and a half, I would give my in-laws it all for putting up with us for a week and a half of sick and another week of me being gone.  They win the prize!  Not sure what it is, but they win it!

The Circle of Life and snow...

As I sit here waiting on news about my grandfather, papa, I think about the strangeness that is life.  At this very moment, one of my best friends is in labor.  She tried for over three years to conceive, suffering four miscarriages and an inutero virus that threatened the life her finally healthy fetus. 

My grandfather is dying.  I don't expect him to live through the new year.  He is old, and has been sick for many years.  It is his time and I am sure my grandmother is eagerly awaiting his arrival.  I will miss him.

The circle of life is such that we dance with joy at the birth of a baby and cry with sadness at the loss of a life.  Such is the way.

And then there is snow!

Hurry mom, take a picture, we want to play!

I may be biased...

But she is simply beautiful!

happymommy

UPDATE:  BFF Baby born at 5:09 PST, Grandfather passed away at 8:30 PST.  Life, it is a circle!