This week, Lilly is the "Superstar" of her kindergarten. This means she is first in line, gets to take charge of certain duties and is THE SUPERSTAR. She is having the time of her life and I, well, I am reveling in a bath of sadness. I was not able to walk her in on her first day of being SuperStar or be part of the week in any way.
It breaks my heart to be a working mother. I never understood the guilt involved in being a working mom. Today, I do. I am pawning Lilly off on people for playdates so I can have an extra hour here or there to send more emails or make more calls. I had to give up my volunteer Wednesdays in Lilly's classroom because I have a standing meeting an hour and half from home on the days I should be the garden mom or the centers' helper.
So many mothers, and fathers, all over the world deal with this guilt. It is hard and unexpected to feel this way. I am excited about my job, but at what cost is this excitement?
Lilly's Special Guest for SuperStar week!
I am thankful every single day for the help I have from my parents. They keep this boat afloat! I will either get over my guilt, or I will go back to being a full time stay at home mom. There really is no better, or more rewarding job.
For now, I am going to embrace this new career, and this opportunity. I am lucky, blessed and empowered. But still, I am sad.