So much...

I have so much to be grateful for this year. My blessings are abundant with love and laughter.

There is her...

And him...

These fellows...

New friends...

And so many more people who make my life complete. I love you all!

Please go and visit the lovely, wonderful and talented The Bloggess today. Her post today is a beautiful one.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

More from Denver next week.

happymommy

My dreams...

I spend a lot of time trying to figure out where I belong and where I plan to go. Life as a wife and mom tends to get lost in the mundane of existence. I have failed at two jobs in the last two and a half years. But this is because of me. I don't have a goal. I need a goal. Damn, I need a dream. I can't picture myself beyond being a wife and a mom. 

I heard something on the radio today that really made me think. I look around at my "alright," and I am pleased. This may be the best that I have, and you know what, "that is alright." Because you know what, this alright, it is my dream.

Thank you Bill Withers for putting words to my figuring it out...

I love this...

And thank you for this song as well Mr. Bill Withers!

Such a beautiful song, but couldn't find it live. So, mom, please excuse that one part!
**these videos are via youtube. I give complete credit to both Bill Withers as well as the artist that put them together! 
Thank you!**

**FIND, BUY AND WATCH THE BILL WITHER'S DOCUMENTARY OF HIS WORK AND HIS LIFE UP TO THIS POINT. HIS CONTINUED BELIEF IN WHAT EXISTENCE MEANS IS GENIUS.**

I will continue to search for my dream, beyond this "alright." I have plans to write, research and make some hot sauce. I couldn't be happier, more blessed or confused.

happyrachael

Hello, hello? Is this thing on???

Is anyone there? Hello?

It has been exactly one month and one day since I last visited this lonely little blog. And I miss it. I miss writing, sharing my stories and my family with the thousands and thousands of people who care about me. The truth of the matter is, I haven't really known what to write. I think for a while that I went away in my mind. I have been trudging through life worried about my home, my husband and my kids. Not really worried exactly, just existing. Since we moved home, it has been an up and down roller coaster of settling in and adjusting to our "real" life. Not until recently did I feel at home. We dealt with the unfinished aspect of the house, personal issues that aren't mine to discuss, a scary health scare with Lilly and a general feeling of unrest. I wanted to write about all of this, but instead, I took naps. (Oh yeah, I also lost my job. Napping may have lead to this.)

I miss this space. I miss sharing pictures and antedotes of my life with others. This space is my safe place where everything is mostly happy and my children grow without developing attitudes and are never sick or unhappy. It can't always be that way, but I am going to attempt to share it again.

So for now, here are some pictures showing the happyrachael family doing our thang!

JAMES GOT A BELT!

Lilly got a desk...

And in the words of Jeff, don't we wish she would always be this little.

I ran out of hot sauce and attempted to make my own.

Jeff's eyes are still recovering and the paint peeled off the walls!

I didn't get a picture of our movie event, but I did see this...

BREAKING DAWN... FOREVER IS ONLY THE BEGINNING

with the wonderful, Sara - Periwinkle Papillon

We laughed, we cried

And we shook our head...

(I would share pictures of the movie poster, but turns out I will get sued.)

This fabulous woman/blogger/friend invited me to a blogging event sponsored by Driscolls!

Kris Mulkey - Social Media Wonder, Fabulous Woman and my friend

We spent the evening at a food and photography event sponsored by Driscolls.

I met Chef Rick Rodgers and ate some amazing food which featured Driscoll's fruit.

I was surrounded by amazing bloggers and watched how companies are beginning to understand the importance of social media and how branding through bloggers is powerful. No one is interested in using me to brand their company, but the food and company were simply fabulous! I learned a lot, laughed and spent a few hours with my friend. It was a great night!

Which was not upstaged by...

Lilly's Ballet performance.

Or...

James' Christmas Preschool Program

Disclaimer: James spent the entire time waving at Jeff and I, or putting his hands down his pants.

I turned 41 and...

Morphed into a version of my mom and my sister. 

I now wear reading glasses and I am not sure how I ever survived without them.

Somewhere in between all of these events we had Thanksgiving. We showed off our house. We ate. We had family time. I got no pictures but Jeff cleaned the whole kitchen.

I fell in love all over again...

Today the most recent version of the Top 100 Mom Blogs was published on Babble. I read and follow most of these writers, so I get the list. However, a pretty big controversy is evolving as to what makes a top mom blogger and I want no part of this. But what I will say, is as a mom blogger who gets around to writing every once in a while, this top list, any top list, doesn't negate MY OWN experience or my writing. I do know, it would be hard to be them. I want to write when I can and about what I want. I may never make a cent. No one will ever pay attention to me. For now, I am fine with this. So, there is that.

happyrachael

PS: I am turning off comments for the foreseeable future. I just want people to enjoy that I am back, not worry about saying anything. Hugs!

PSS:  THIS BLOG IS NOT SPONSORED BY DRISCOLLS. I was a guest of an actual invitee and did receive a gift bag of fruit and other fruit related items. All opinions expressed are my own.

You know that moment?...

I looked around this evening at my beautiful house, my healthy children (well, except for Lilly who seems to have come down with the plague) and my husband who loves me and I wondered how I got so lucky. Then, I looked at my schedule, my contacts and my social life and I was sad.

I get bogged down in life and circumstances and I am faced with the fact that I am constantly left out of the loop and I'm not important enough to be considered for a social event, or a night on the town. Does this matter to me? Should it? YES IT DOES. 

Right now I feel the exact same way I felt in 5th, 7th, 8th grades, all of high school and the first three years of college. I am sad. Actually really sad.

But oh well. I will wake up tomorrow and my kids will need me. My husband will love me and still, my house will be beautiful.

happymommy

Just like my dad...

I haven't written a damn thing down in over two months. I haven't blogged about life, my children or the state of affairs. How many people want to listen to me moan about my brand new house? How many people want to read about my first world problems? Who, in their right mind, wants to be part of my pity party. NO ONE. I don't even want to be part of it.

Tonight, I learned a lesson. And I am better for it, and a tad bit poorer. (Sorry Jeff!)

I took James to dinner. We sat, ate, played on the ipad and reveled in the fact that our lives are not so hard. Well, James is 3 so his life is never too hard. How many 3 year olds get to say that?

We watched 46 high school seniors sit down at the tables surrounding us. They were dressed in prom like attire and were clearly reveling in the fact that they were in the "fancy" restaurant. This restaurant was my everyday, let's avoid it at all costs, restaurant.

These high school aged children, ages 16 - 18 have spent the last year raising money to tour California looking at colleges and lifestyles. These kids were beautiful and they made me cry.

I have never wanted for anything. The kids I watched tonight in the restaurant???? The rest of their lives will be a struggle. Will anyone care about them?

No one cared enough about those children abused by "Mr." Sandusky at Penn State. Who is caring about the thousands, most likely millions of nameless children around the globe who HAVE NO ONE?

Tonight I watched ten tables of young people on their best behavior. They raised hundreds of dollars to visit the colleges around my area in hopes of finding a place to belong.

I "gifted" a size able amount of money towards those young people's dinner. You know why? Because I could. My dad taught me to do this: GIVE.

happymommy

I'll be back...

I promise.

Taking a break. Getting things together and starting brand new. Just like my house and my employment status.

See you soon!

Hugs! And Happy Halloween!

Pumpkin courtesy of the famous Lilly!

happymommy

Almost 41...

I will be 41 in 7 days. This is crazy to me. My first day of blogging as an almost 50 year old will commence next Tuesday. But for today, I offer up my number one goal for my first month as someone who will soon have access to senior citizen prices.

I will spend more time with my husband. I will love him, take care of him and make sure he knows how much he means to me and my children.

Coming up next....

My second goal for my first month as someone who will soon be able to apply for AARP.

happyrachael