I have no reasonable explanation as to why I was trying to eat a Hot Pocket today. Hot Pockets and frozen burritos are not usually in my repertoire of food. But since today marked the fifth day of no Jeff, I really needed me some Hot Pocket. Please don't ask why I even had one, but I did, in my freezer.
I popped the thing in it's little sleeve, set the microwave to 8 minutes and did some Twittering while I waited. Some sort of Twitter fight erupted over some blogging conference thing. A few moms were upset about children and many many people ate candy. A normal day on Twitterverse. I started to notice a weird smell. Thought it was the dog, or maybe a neighbor grilling. No need to point out it was 10:30 in the morning, but you never know. I kept thinking, wow, this is a long 8 minutes. Well then I started to cough. There was smoke everywhere. The house was closed up because it was cold outside, like a freezing sixty degrees.
I ran downstairs and was immediately engulfed in smoke. It smelled horrible and I couldn't stop coughing. I open all the windows and doors, threw Bubba outside and started to investigate. The Hot Pocket had blown up in the microwave and there was a small fire INSIDE the microwave. Um, according to the package, you only microwave Hot Pockets for 1 minute and 45 seconds. Where I got 8 minutes from is unknown.
The house still stinks and my hair smells like a forest fire. Lesson learned? Read the instructions and never assume your neighbors are grilling at 10:30 in the morning. Or that your dog smells like someone grilling.
To all you single moms and dads out there: I have no idea how you do it. My hats off to you for being able to get out of the house wearing pants and remembering to bring your children with you.